Tuesday, January 29, 2008


dear jess,

i feel that i must write to keep my sanity. after all, that is what that does keep my sanity, somewhat. and this pain, it has been here some days now, and it is not true that you get use to certain things over a period of time.

but i don't know what i should say or should not. and all i do is suffer in silence. as i always do.

apparently. people who hold their feelings in die earlier, a survey done over the lifetime of some couples showed that those who did argue and fight lived longer because they expressed themselves. so the key is that im suppose to express myself.

maybe my blog will keep me alive. then again, with all my vaguness, maybe not.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

how much are you worth?

dear jess,

the question, the reocurring question in my life has been the consistency of how much im really worth. if you were working as a managerial position of some sort, and got 10000 dollars a day, u would only be worth about rm500 a day. of course this is me doing math and i can be totally wrong but basically ure not worth more than rm62 an hour if u work an 8hour job. and that is if u make 10000bucks.

so anyways, i hate negotiating and to tell someone i should get paid more is the most difficult thing in the world for me. but i did that, only to retort to a "is that negotiable."

you people suck. for lack of a less rude word.

i remember placing a high price on myself and not getting the job altho in their own words were that i was "the most qualified." so now theyve hired someone lesser a man for the job?

ive collected a lifetime, well it feels like it, of materials, books and experience and i hate feeling like im gettting only ten percent of what ten students have paid the management. im going to open a drama school and give free lessons and make all of you run out of business..

lucky for you im a lazy arse. which probably explains my happiness for the fact that whilst everyone gets off two days a week i only work two days a week.

be damned people who dont pay me what i want. im only too happy to not work, passion or none.


Friday, January 18, 2008

when i grow up..

dear jess,

ask anyone and i dare bet that they all think that they are "different." heres the thing that got me thinking. i was talking to one of my friends who is a tatoo artist (yeap) and a dj and a cameraman. talented apparently and as some of us were talking he told us about a story that ended with him talking about being himself, which includes liking to be different and owning tatoos was part of that.

here's the thing. if it were me i would say that having no tatoos is also being different since alot of people are jumping on the bandwagon. for that matter, i think that im the only person left on earth, to my knowledge, that thinks rihana's "umbrella" is still a stupid song, that somehow made it so big that everyone loves it.

not to mention her hair.

before everyone had it, i wanted it and now, im so thankful i dont. everyone has the same freaking hair style!!!!

back to the topic. ask everyone and they'll tell you how different we are. but are we so stupid to not realise that everyone is different and by saying that we are different, we are really being the same as everyone else???

get it??
ahhhh.. now that i got that off my chest :)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

lets start where we should start

i got my new journal and its the cutest little thing. so cute i hesitated to write in it and yes that adorable pen! how appropriate my book is called monologue. heres to the 2008. ps. if you're getting married this year with the throngs of others i predict will, you've just annoyed me by 10 percent.