dear free spirit,

seriously? in my so called adulthood, i am still unsure of who i am and what i want. sometimes it makes you wonder if all the other "adults" know what they're doing or they're just winging it. i don't know, you know. i had a dream the other day and i think it scared me into waking up.

i was getting married.

bam. rude awakening! oh how i am hearing mocking voices already.

if i had my wish, what and who would i really be? have i succumbed to circumstances and people around me that i am too afraid of hurting?

you know, when you travel, its a weird thing. you'd meet all types of people. the man who's had six kids and looking for a one night- but would tell her upfront, the charming guy who falls head over heels in love with you after meeting you for a night, and you'd wonder, what could've or would've been? everyone, when travelling, takes a risk, they free themselves from who they have to be and just let themselves be. they live a little, risk a little. they take that surfboard into the ocean and think not of the consequences and ride the waves.

for a while, they let their spirit run free.

sometimes, when you're in your 30s but feel like you're in your 20s, just starting out and wanting to mold and shape your life. finding out if you should commit, but everyone around you seems certain, holding their annoying crying babies and telling you they have a wonderful life.

being an adult is so boring. i just wish i had the guts to live my life young.

jess