Monday, January 24, 2005

tHe LiFeLoNg qUesTiOn Of WhAt DO wOMen WaNt?

dear jess,

what do women want really? and why on earth dont men get us? its a question probably before the dawn of time considering that we are two totally different beings who despite the fact ive had had best friends who are guys, still manage to leave me in total puzzlement.

As a pro modern woman, why i mean seriously WHYY...

WHYYYYYYYY do women want to be competitive at work and YET would love it if you opened the door for them?
WHHHYYYYY would women want men to see them as equals and yet want to be coaxed when their crying?

and most of all, whilst playing futsal- which in case you guys dont know is probably the next feminist movement of today, WHY do you have to GIVE us the ball or on the other extreme IGNORE us totally? guess what guys? the girls can play! and if that hurts your egos to much, guess again cos some of them can play much better than you!

Okay, so ill stop the male bashing for one second and help you to try understand our difficult consequences. Girls havent been playing since they were young, unlike guys, hence the slight advantage that its second nature to guys. However girls can play and its just like if you added a new guy team member to your team, and guess what? even that guy doesnt get what i call the PITY PLAY that we girls do.

hang on guys, just a bit more.. Do you know that women have to work three times harder than guys on the "field" because they need to proove themselves twice as hard, and then at the back of their heads they are aware that the men feel uncomfortable with them on the "field", hence playing 'softer' or you know.. its not a real game.

So i know you tell me that in "REALITY" there are no mix leagues anyways, but really this is beyond the game? its an attitude of how guys treat us in reality as in, in the game!

Which brings us to the next problem of which the guys are probably frustrated by now? So what do girls want? Do they want to be treated extra special in work or in games? Would we like it if the guys were tooo rough? if we dont give them the ball, we're mean, if we give them the ball, we're mean too? i mean girls seriously how do we want to be treated?

So lets compromise to answer this one? Girls get off that pretty looks and long hair and go grab the ball, don't expect the guys to give it to you, if you want to be treated equally. AND guys whilst we dont want to be pitied, when we happen to be in your team? i think we should be treated just that way, we might, might just LIKE YOU GUYS miss one or two kicks, but we'll get there.

Whilst we let the men be men, dont forget that the women still want you to open their doors, and be a gentlemen, right after that grueling game!

Still confused? well its simple, women arent a bi-product of a singular answer, just like men.

yours kicking and fighting,

Thursday, January 20, 2005

WhEn yOu ASS-U-ME u MaKe aN ASS oUt oF U aNd ME

dear jess,

i learned some years back from 16 year old then, that the word ASSUME means when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME. Words of wisdom from a person almost a decade younger.

i Assumed that you didnt want to go to dinner so i didnt ask, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that that the world is unchangable, so i dont try, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that despite my deep disatisfaction with the way things are runned in this organisation, that lil ole me can never do anything about it, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because we are close, that i dont have to ask you how you are doing, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because you say things without thinking, that people would forgive you, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because security means money, all couples should be rich before marriage. who's fault is that?
i Assumed just because our parents created us, they have every right to right off our friends, girlfriends, and boyfriends, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because im a parent, my child is the tamest person on earth, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because that girl is sexy (and this term can be defined in a 100 ways) that makes her a bad person too, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because someone has had a bad history that she is always going to be that way, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that its okay to tell everyone about someone else, as long as they dont tell anyone else, and when everyone knows who's fault is that?
i Assumed that people should forgive me in an instant but i have every right not to forgive them for what they did to me, who's fault is that?
i Assumed just because a girl hangs out with lots of guys, that that makes her a bad person, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because someone has flexible work and study hours, that they are lazy, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because i've had a huge tragedy in my life, that its okay to do the whole self pity thing and be justified, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that just because i've had it BAD that no one else has had it WORSE, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that its okay to impose my views on others, just because i once again ASSUME im right, who's fault is that?
i Assumed that its okay to leave a friend behind on a field trip because i couldn't wait, who's fault is that?

i Assumed that because its really difficult to say sorry i dont have to, who's fault is that?

i Assumed that i dont need to say sorry, because you know what? it was never a mistake, only an ASSUMPTION after all, and we cant blame that now can we? and after all we do ASSUME that as friends we should just forgive each other, isnt it? i mean im not wrong not to assume that right?

i assume, it hurts when people assume, what do you think, ass? i mean jess?

yours assumingly (PS what makes u assume im writting this?)

Thursday, January 13, 2005

eVerYoNe's eATiNg tOeNaiLs, i ThInK i ShOuLd ToO!

dear jess,

im feeling really passionate and idealistic tonight. yesterday i took a plane to my ideal country spain, and guess what? everyone there eats toenails. No kidding, and so i thought about it for a while, it seemed silly i know but i decided to ask a commoner. Hey whats with the toenails? and well apparently it was a norm, an accepted thing and so if i didnt do it id be weird. So i went ahead and took a toenail and just as i was about to put it in my mouth i woke up.

What makes us do the things we do? or more importantly what makes us accept the things we do? Why do we sit back and accept the fact that we will end up in a white collar job, get married before our 30s have two kids and die- thinking our lives were nice and complete? What makes us accept the fact that because things were done the same way as they've been 10 years ago it must be right? what makes us believe that our lives will end up happy? What makes us sit down and watch whilst indonesian's and philipino workers have absolutely no rights, and no ones fighting for them, what makes us sit back and knowingly let them be punished by fellow malaysian's? what makes us think that it is the mad men who are crazy and not us? What makes us think that women are the ones who needs rights to be fought for whilst men suffer in silence? What makes us think that we shouldnt stand up and make a change? Who on earth let us think that it was wrong to be idealistic?

Its funny, our paths have been set out in our head even before we realised it. When we were young and idealistic we swore we wouldnt spend ten hours at a job in front of a computer for the next 20 years of our lives. Is that so wrong? No but neither is leaving every comfort and security behind, taking all your money and travelling the world.

Why do we accept the fact that change has to be done by someone else, and not me? Because we're too comfortable, and because we love the taste of toenails..

Yours in the midst of spitting some nails out,

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I hATE wEaRiNg hEeLs sO sUe mE!!

dear jess,

Being a woman like me, and yes i do sometimes would like to be thought of as a woman, i was wondering if you ever wondered what really makes a woman? Should we all be dainty, presentable and soft spoken? Nothing wrong with those characteristics, but what about women who wear their hair short, and are big bonned? and what about women who are well not so on the soft side and speak out right? what about women who dont want to stay at home when they are married, hates cleaning the house and thinks manicures are a waste of time? are we any less a woman? heck no! are we any less attractive? i hesitate to answer that..

Now see, i was thinking about this and i realise that despite the fact that we've entered into worlds of change since our parents' time, alot of men still find a typicallly 'woman' very attractive. Whilst im not saying that women should just 'let go' and not look after themselves, are women more accepting of men and how they look? Are we the ones who end up with beer bellied men and accept it anyhow? Or are women culprits to the whole idealism of what a men should OWN rather than BE in preparation of a relationship? Worse still are women just as guilty if not MORE of placing 'womenly women' on a high up pedestal of what a "REAL WOMAN" should be??

I have to admit that i realise this through my own dreary mistake that i so would love to blame on the upbringing of society, but i am society. Upon looking at a girl who was beyond dainty but nevertheless beautiful beyond skin deep, i made the comment that 'she would grow out of it' in my mind thinking that it was a phase. And what if it isnt? Does that mean she would be lesser of a woman, or less attractive?

Im talking about beyond "womenly" personality. So we dont speak softly, we're competitive and maybe we're not always "beautiful" (dont even get me started on the meaning of beauty..), but never short of being a woman.

Well enough said, i dont think a woman should say so much? what can i say im a product of
so-cie-ty.. haha

yours, a different kind of woman and proud of it,