ok. so maybe not everyday. i heard that from someone on tv and i cant remember who it was. i try to these things, like go to an audition and try out for weird roles. auditions scare me but also gives me a sense of perspective. it use to disraught me and i would leave knowing i didnt get it and wonder, whats wrong with me. that would subsequently lead me to three days of depression. these days i leave the room and laugh thinking i wouldnt hire me! maybe its a part of growing up, but i think the best thing i want to adopt in my life is being able to laugh at myself.
recently i had the opportunity to do a workshop. and the scary thing was that i have never taught adults beyond a certain age. in addition to the group that would range to a near almost retirement age, i had to train trainers. they would probably have hawk eyes eyeing my every move.
i contemplated hiding under table, as i do that best and shrugged it off. i would enter an experience that i had no control over. if i taught kids, i knew how to do it, young adults, no problem. but corporate people who train for a living from a top notch petroloeum company? *check* on scary thing for the month!
so there i was laptop on my back and a big bag with props on my side as i walked from the train station and got lost to the damn hotel no one was able to tell me where, WHICH as usual was only ten minutes away i took half hour through the blazing sun and the pack on my bag made me feel like i was on amazing race with no partner to shout at. finally got to my place with only four hours of sleep for a couple of nights already, i set up to the comments of "oh you're the trainer?" yes, the one time i actually wished i look older.
then as we were to start the first few comers were men that look like they were in their 40s and 50s with their ties and long sleeves and my mind went, im going to ask these people to play games, lie on the floor and touch each others diaphragm. God help me!
as it turns out, they were quite the opposite of the stuffy type office people i had in mind and my jaw was hurting from the laughter they caused during these games. how awesome!
at the end of the day i had to lug my things back to the train station, stood in the corner of the train where i felt like puking thanks to the rush hour and my back and feet still ache from the experience, it was well worth the sleepless nights and pain.
now, i wonder whats scheduled for march on my scare me list? i know whats on aprils list HAHA growing old that is :)