Wednesday, July 26, 2006

tHe "i" iN iRoNy

dear jess

there are a few ironies in life that amuse me greatly, and most of them are often found within religions.

Ironically, no place judges greater, forgets longer, or hates harder than within the four walls or religions, churches, mosques, and the places that preach love, peace and all the wonders in the world.


Its ironic that love by definition is supposedly free of judgment, pre-conceived ideas and discrimination but instead it was meant to be wholly enveloped in grace, benefit of doubts and kindness.

Now. What happens if I fell in love with a scruffy looking drunkard and was going to get married to him in the midst of all my Christian friends? I would then be subjected to scrutiny, madness, a lot of anger and the very thought that I must have not really grown up a Christian because im loving the very man that didn’t get a university education?

Wait did you say university education?

Ironic. Ironic that some churches proudly claim that they will discriminate you if you marry a non-christian. But why is it that they don’t discriminate you if you were business partners with a non-Christian?

I understand that in many a cases we are constantly an irony to ourselves. You see I fear. I fear that one day I will be too flexible in light of avoiding being to legalistic.

Ironic, charles spurgeon was a great speaker with a bad smoking habit. Is he remembered for his sin or his faith?

If and most likely when I do end up in the asylum it would most definitely be because I couldn’t come to peaceful terms of all the ironies that live within my head.

I try to do so many things right that I end up doing everything wrong.

The irony is in me. the irony is in that I will as hard as I try to want to hang around with my churchy friends who seemingly do everything right and seemingly end up marrying the right people that i never will bother to try.

I am the irony. I am the irony who may or may not end up with that “drunkard.” I am – I assure you the irony that you will one day stand there and judge me for seemingly making the wrong choices and picking the wrong man because he was more a charles than a charles spurgeon.

I am that irony and that one day when you “tsk” at me just remember, that of all the in capabilities of life that I ended up with, i have found, and I hope I do find the courage to say that I’m not afraid of loving someone I know no one will ever approve of.

It’s a sad state to be in. What I would give to be normal and go “tsk.”

yours,
jess

3 comments:

imissw said...

you do know that some of us will still love you no matter who u choose to be yr man!

we love ya for who u are!

jess said...

and thats why i lurveeee you!!!!!! *hugsss*

Anonymous said...

there´s this saying: ´the only normal people are the ones you don´t know so well´

i agree wholeheartedly because the truth is that no one is ´normal´, everyone had their quirks and anyone who tries to be like everyone else is just hiding their true self. so be proud of your abnormalities and even prouder when you know you have friends who allow you to have them!!

:)