Dear jess,
Someone asked someone (why do most stories began that way?) if the reason I hadn’t met up with that someone was because of a boy?
As I ponder in thought – not for an answer to the question but rather for how I should react. As I did, think; some things crossed my mind, do I seem like the type who would ditch people for a boy?; do people not know me? and of course do I really care enough to react?
Whilst it is the easiest and most reasonable to pick on that reason, the privacy of my quirky, less unfathomable personality must once again be made known much to my discomfort.
I don’t make a good friend.
And admittedly I don’t intend to. As selfish, ignorant and down right silly that sounds, one must be given credit for being honest.
With the best of persons there are, I sometimes just cant be bothered. I love going into my hole and being there by myself. The much noisy and extrovert person I thought I was has a stone in which she hides in for months.
Perhaps there are reasons for this. Sometimes it’s because meeting up with people means the worse of all; being put in a position where I’m somehow obligated to tell them my personal life. Being ‘friends’ and having a past together means I have to tell them my present. Or perhaps that there is nothing much that have changed; and even more so nothing that changed that they can accept as much as they would like to believe they can.
I am strange. no doubt. when im in a gleeful mood i feel that im in love with the whole world and want to have coffee with everyone. hence the bipolar disorder i claim to have
Im probably one of this people who will die a lonely death (laughs to self) or contrary; a crowded one with people all looking for me because i havent met up with them in months.
Someone asked someone (why do most stories began that way?) if the reason I hadn’t met up with that someone was because of a boy?
As I ponder in thought – not for an answer to the question but rather for how I should react. As I did, think; some things crossed my mind, do I seem like the type who would ditch people for a boy?; do people not know me? and of course do I really care enough to react?
Whilst it is the easiest and most reasonable to pick on that reason, the privacy of my quirky, less unfathomable personality must once again be made known much to my discomfort.
I don’t make a good friend.
And admittedly I don’t intend to. As selfish, ignorant and down right silly that sounds, one must be given credit for being honest.
With the best of persons there are, I sometimes just cant be bothered. I love going into my hole and being there by myself. The much noisy and extrovert person I thought I was has a stone in which she hides in for months.
Perhaps there are reasons for this. Sometimes it’s because meeting up with people means the worse of all; being put in a position where I’m somehow obligated to tell them my personal life. Being ‘friends’ and having a past together means I have to tell them my present. Or perhaps that there is nothing much that have changed; and even more so nothing that changed that they can accept as much as they would like to believe they can.
I am strange. no doubt. when im in a gleeful mood i feel that im in love with the whole world and want to have coffee with everyone. hence the bipolar disorder i claim to have
Im probably one of this people who will die a lonely death (laughs to self) or contrary; a crowded one with people all looking for me because i havent met up with them in months.
yours,
jess
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