dear jess
it shames me to say that i had forgotten. i tried hard to remember but i couldnt remember your date.
she.
she was my ally. she would say that it was okay if i got back late and would always take my side against my mum. she would back me up and i would take her to movies.
the last time i took her to one, i still remember which it was, she would laugh so loud; imagine that; an old lady laughing so loud i was slightly embarassed. then she would say a million times that coming to the cinema would be imposing on my fun.
whenever she went to the shop, she'd buy me egg tarts because i loved it, and i would buy her the 'split' ice cream or the chocolate ones because she loved those.
she was always apologetic and never wanted anyone to go out of their way for her, and yet even in her 80s she'd clean my room!
you know, i have a problem till today because of her. i simply cant look at another granmother or someone aged. i found that it literally made me cry and i have had once broken down in the most unpredictable of times because i was completely surrounded by them.
it shames me to say that i had forgotten. i tried hard to remember but i couldnt remember your date.
she.
she was my ally. she would say that it was okay if i got back late and would always take my side against my mum. she would back me up and i would take her to movies.
the last time i took her to one, i still remember which it was, she would laugh so loud; imagine that; an old lady laughing so loud i was slightly embarassed. then she would say a million times that coming to the cinema would be imposing on my fun.
whenever she went to the shop, she'd buy me egg tarts because i loved it, and i would buy her the 'split' ice cream or the chocolate ones because she loved those.
she was always apologetic and never wanted anyone to go out of their way for her, and yet even in her 80s she'd clean my room!
you know, i have a problem till today because of her. i simply cant look at another granmother or someone aged. i found that it literally made me cry and i have had once broken down in the most unpredictable of times because i was completely surrounded by them.
there is no way, as i initally wanted to, to write to you eloquently about her. it wasn't always what she did or said but it was who she was. she was an old woman who had so much of energy, a grandmother who made everyone around her laugh and be happy, she was my mama.
it made me feel so handicap that i had no grandmother anymore, and for some years already. i had no one to open the door and ask her to come down for supper, no one to watch wash her long white hair in the bathroom, no one who wears a sarong in the house, or tell us not to take pictures of her, no one she would call penis in portuegese, quite literally translated, no one who would sundry the eurasion pickle, no one to love, and all i still want to do is love her.
im sure she's retained every ounce of her sense of humor in heaven, im not sure about the cursing though.
*helen theisera passed away third september, 2004.
yours,
jess
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