Friday, January 02, 2009

don't rock the boat

happy new year jess.

i guess if you are as uninspired as me you'll know that im not all jumping with joy into the new year. in fact im not jumping anywhere. my friend just informed me that she wont be working at our preppy school anymore cos she's going to do the working visa thing in NZ. *wooopee*

i remember now that as she tells me this about the times where i dont go to the theatre to watch a friends play, i dont want to know where you've been or wat you've seen or your great and wondrous adventures for a year that you deem will be "scary" because you had to leave it all behind.

yes people.. that is what we call bitterness and jealousy. had i not taken so long to study or had i not been attached who knows what i'd be doing now. sure, the prospect is always possible and you say that those are just excuses. perhaps and most likely so.

however, if no one told me that my friend who knows nothing about the eurasion language or culture had staged the play on what my little knowledge is far more than his, or that instead of studying the last five years i could be her saving up to go somewhere else, i would probably be happy sitting on my ass watching series after series on my laptop.

competition hugely inspires me. being the one doing these things inspires me.. but then again, these are my dreams too. or at least they once were and seeing other people have them angers me. so, sometimes i'd rather not know and i dont really want to care, because im not horribly unhappy but when they rock the boat, it makes me think that something in my life is amiss..

once again, welcome to the new year,
jess

No comments: