do my things own me or do i own my things?

dear jess,

i was asleep on my bed and the phone rang. it was a saturday. usually on a saturday when my phone rings i choose to be selfish and not pick it up. simply because it means that some irresponsible teacher didn't make it to teach her sat class and im being called to see if i "can" go in. i have never gone in. i let the phone ring. then, conscience nudges me. i feel bad for my friend, who owns the business and i tell her i'll teach.

so up i go, and out of the house to which my mums car is parked outside. she lets me use it but asks me to put petrol in it. she tells me to wait whilst she goes to get her diners card. i wait. i see a bike on the road headed towards me. i felt the instict nudge me, i react. my brain says lock the door. i press the window instead- this wasn't my car, and in my immediate reaction, i press where the lock would be on the other car that we own that isn't mine. i look at the rear mirror, i see the second guy on the bike get off and come near me. i see my mum on the side of my eye coming out of the house, unaware. he opens the door. my hand reaches for the bag that is mine, my phone falls out giving me peace that he wont grab that no matter what. i see his hands, inches away from me and i hear my mum shout "BABI, BABI"!! the bag is in my hand and he rushes off, without anything.

here's the thing. this is the second time it has happened to me. in broad day light, outside my house and the last time too i wasnt in my car, but the door was locked and i had noticed them before they had made their "move." that was MORE than a year ago and ever since everytime i hear the sound of a kapchai my legs become soft. so just as i was getting "over" it, now its happening all over again.

do you know what went through my mind when i knew i was about to get robbed? "my iPhone, my iPhone!!!." it was two weeks old. it was a gift. and i have never had a phone as advanced as this and i remember thinking to myself when i got it, dammit, now i have to take care of it really well. i would've been fine with loosing the rest of my phones before this, in fact not till last year did i have a phone that played music!

the other thing that went through my mind was my coach wallet!

that's about all the things i own that really costs something, apart from my laptop and my camera.

i hate it. i mean i really like the things i have, but i liked it when life was simpler. just bring my IC, money and use the public phone. well, no i hated the public phone.

you know, everytime i go in my car i lock the doors immediately, plus it helps that the passenger seat on my left is spoiled. im aware, im paranoid and im always checking the rear when i see the motorbikes. i saw these idiots and i knew what was going to happen next, but none of this would've been what it would've been if God was not with me, watching me, and practically giving me peace. it felt like it was a slow motion, i was so calm, i was clear and i had no fear. i wish that God would punish these type of people, but all i really wanna say is that My God is an AWESOME God, and He is very real. :)

yours uploading this with an iPhone. (haha kidding)

jess