dear jess,
I know I've said that I sometimes strife to put myself in uncomfortable positions. Okay so maybe i didn’t say it out loud, but I learned something some time ago from my travel partner to always try something I usually wouldn’t. Like, trying unlikely styles of sunglasses or clothes. Or eating bugs.
And to be flexible. Like not being too grossed out when my cousin’s cousin pukes next to me, with traces on my hands and feet.
Now, really, that would make a girl think she’s all prep for life, just by being puked next to and on.
And then there are those moments when you dread so terribly much you wished you could just walk out of. Like yesterday at my shoot in my mInute malay speaking role on a tv show.
Ostracized
It reminded me of awkward theater days when because you’re new in the business no one talks to you and there is no way of you acting funny, cute or even interested in people’s conversation that will get you anywhere.
Actually, it reminds me of moments of a school kid’s first day at school, except I was the only kid in a class of seniors who have been together for years.
And then of course there were the moments where repeating my lines in the stage of my little head just meant forgetting them more.
Then the sudden panic that this isn’t theatre and there were no rehearsals or emotional build up and better yet, the person I’m suppose to be acting with, I wouldn’t have practiced lines with till we’re in front of the oh so intimidating cameras.
Then there are moments when I coax myself that it’s just for fun.
Of course, all this when I’m alone.. by myself..
After seven hours, its close to midnight at the apartment of the scene which I got to at 4 pm; my small scene still wasn’t near being shot.
Just as things began to pick up and I actually found that one person who found me funny, I was told my scene wasn’t going to be shot today.
Despite the improvement of my emotional well being, all I wanted to do was leave. Sitting around the whole day just waiting for my scene to be shot, trying to look busy is probably the best acting I’ve done.
Doing nothing is rather, awfully, terribly, tiring.
Tomorrow. Again. Shooting. Waiting. And repeating my lines in my head. Being nervous. Wondering what to do with my hands. Wondering what malay line ill screw up.
Well, at least I still have the one person who finds me funny.
Wait. What if he doesn’t come to work tomorrow?
your live entertainment,
jess
I know I've said that I sometimes strife to put myself in uncomfortable positions. Okay so maybe i didn’t say it out loud, but I learned something some time ago from my travel partner to always try something I usually wouldn’t. Like, trying unlikely styles of sunglasses or clothes. Or eating bugs.
And to be flexible. Like not being too grossed out when my cousin’s cousin pukes next to me, with traces on my hands and feet.
Now, really, that would make a girl think she’s all prep for life, just by being puked next to and on.
And then there are those moments when you dread so terribly much you wished you could just walk out of. Like yesterday at my shoot in my mInute malay speaking role on a tv show.
Ostracized
It reminded me of awkward theater days when because you’re new in the business no one talks to you and there is no way of you acting funny, cute or even interested in people’s conversation that will get you anywhere.
Actually, it reminds me of moments of a school kid’s first day at school, except I was the only kid in a class of seniors who have been together for years.
And then of course there were the moments where repeating my lines in the stage of my little head just meant forgetting them more.
Then the sudden panic that this isn’t theatre and there were no rehearsals or emotional build up and better yet, the person I’m suppose to be acting with, I wouldn’t have practiced lines with till we’re in front of the oh so intimidating cameras.
Then there are moments when I coax myself that it’s just for fun.
Of course, all this when I’m alone.. by myself..
After seven hours, its close to midnight at the apartment of the scene which I got to at 4 pm; my small scene still wasn’t near being shot.
Just as things began to pick up and I actually found that one person who found me funny, I was told my scene wasn’t going to be shot today.
Despite the improvement of my emotional well being, all I wanted to do was leave. Sitting around the whole day just waiting for my scene to be shot, trying to look busy is probably the best acting I’ve done.
Doing nothing is rather, awfully, terribly, tiring.
Tomorrow. Again. Shooting. Waiting. And repeating my lines in my head. Being nervous. Wondering what to do with my hands. Wondering what malay line ill screw up.
Well, at least I still have the one person who finds me funny.
Wait. What if he doesn’t come to work tomorrow?
your live entertainment,
jess
2 comments:
ah, a day in the life of a celebrity. ;)
stuff a book into ur handbag, girl.
har har if i was a celeb, i wouldnt have needed to wait..
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