dear jess,
does it feel like you are rotting inside while outside you remain inhumanely fresh. does it feel like you have nothing left in your soul or your heart and that you just hope its a feeling that will past. does it feel like you're standing on trial and everyone, if not now, soon enough will betray you.
sometimes i let myself stay in guilt, so as to be able to punish myself and to tell myself that i dont deserve any better. and then there are days i never knew when i wake up and think the feeling will past but it doesnt. look over my shoulder, think of ways to avoid it, wonder what ill do and end up knowing that im helpless.
i have become a bitter repurcussion of me. i did this and iam this. and every once in a while i feel like im being eaten alive inside, piece after piece till this is all iam left.
yours,
jess
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