dear jess,
growing up we were always taught that good triumphed evil. Men at the core, was good. And those turned evil, have long histories of being a good misunderstood person. Much overquoted by me, Coehlo, tells the tale of such a story. Good and evil sometimes have the same face, we are capable of both in the extremes.
Most of us go around believing that human beings are essentially good or evil and that shapes our whole outlook on life. We become harsh and competitive or generous and forgiving. There was once when i used to think that humans were essentially good, and in my pride, i thought i was too.
Some people say we all have skeletons in our closet. I dont believe that. Im sure in comparison, alot of people would be surprised of the skeletons in their closet are vaguely small in comparison to that of the priest we know, the sweet neighbour, and of course me.
Maggots are these amazing creatures that dont ever give up and before you know it all you are left is without a heart or a conscience. Sometimes i wish i could compare skeletons, and at least id know that i wasnt the only one hiding them.
I can live with my skeletons. I hate them no doubt, but ive come to aptly accomodate them in my closet, right next to all my diaries. However, what i cant live with is me, dumping my skeletons in someone elses closet, and making someone else live with it.
Evil. essentially. And yet the stronghold of guilt seems stronger than the deed itself.
My faith promises freedom, that the past is forgiven, but my humanity doesnt let me go. Maybe in some need for equilibrium that is my punishment.
I cant remember who said this- probably Coehlo, we never live in the present - we are always stuck in the past or the future. Pity.
not yet out of the closet,
jess
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