Thursday, April 06, 2006

oNe aBsoLutE, on ThE roCks pLeAsE

dear jess,

Free spirit.

There is something of an oxymoron in that phrase. Like as if we could trap that as vague and intangible as that of a spirit.

I’ve come to learn some things, not many, for fear that such statements may one day reveal to me the much unknown in the unknown worlds.

My fingers are numbed from typing, my knee scratched several times from the redundancy of sitting at the work table and my spirit tired.

My room is always a reflection of my current state of mind, and currently the room is in a perfect mess.

As you grow older, you realize that there are fewer people you call friends, that there are no such things as absolutes, that people no matter what will always, always put someone, some other culture something else down to justify their place, their position and their happiness.

That even if you’ve traveled the world, you still end up as that irritating boy sitting in secret recipe annoying the hell out of you, making generalizations on people he hasnt even met yet.

You go to the same place and you wonder how come it didn’t change him? or you? You see the same love, the same progress, the same awe inspiring beauty and your jaw drops but his doesn’t.

You can be in Rome and never seen the Coliseum, been to Malaysia and never tasted nasi lemak or let the tip of Mt Kinabalu leave you in tearing joy; or on the other hand you could’ve gone all the way to India just to say you’ve seen the Taj Mahal and still be left the way you are.

You go to say you’ve gone and you’ve seen, or you go and never.

Absolutes.

We’re so used to not becoming people who are layered with more than just one emotion that we either do or we don’t. We either are or we aren’t.

People in the jungle are either ignorant, or contented. We are either advanced or idiotic. Being here or there is either good or bad.

We either are, or we aren’t.

No in betweens.

You are either black or white.

Me? im quite literally brown.
jess


2 comments:

mei said...

er...babe, last few tiems i checked ur room was always in a mess. ahahaha...and still not as bad as mine.

jess said...

doesnt that tell you something about my state of mind.. always??? hahaha