dear jess,
Lying in the dark, I see the shadow of my fan spinning. I can hear things that go thump in the night louder than ever. My heart rate increases and my tongue feels ever so bland from the flu and fever im recovering.
Im hungry but I feel like puking all at the same time. When you’re silent and when you’re sick and everything around you shuts down.. its then when you start to think. Its then when you start to remember those around you that have passed on.
I told my cousin today, life is too short to stay angry.
There is something about being a dreamer and an artist at the same time that will equate you to being selfish. And so true that is.
The irony is, everyone thinks they have it better. Those that study overseas will claim to the day of their death that studying overseas was the best thing they did, those that didn’t just thank God they didn’t spend so much of their parents money. Those that have dreams and adventures will always live for those and will always pride themselves in having a form of future that they look forward too. Those that marry and have stability, pride in just that. Those that even have nothing pride themselves in thinking they don’t want more.
We like to think that we’ve grown, that in someway making that decision was the best thing that happened or will happen to us. And we will always, always gage ourselves better than the classmate who left for US but ultimately came back, or the friend that has to work 24 hours a day or the one that has no job. The one that has no personality, the one that hasn’t changed, the one that remained unchallenged.
Empathy, humility. Almost non existent in today’s world. in fact almost non existent in people we actually know.. especially ourselves..
Excuse me while I go puke. Kidding. But still there’s always a good reason too.
All the people like us are We, and every one else is They.
Rudyard Kipling
always wishing im asleep, finding myself wide awake,
jess
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