dear jess
A lot of things are overrated. Resolutions, self development, plans. Actually, a lot of things are just me-rated. We live in a world of selfish buggers. Christians included. Things we want to do within the year. And at the end of the year we become failures for not achieving them. Another reason to beat ourselves up and go into a self pity trip.
I think more and more that humans love to self pity. Look at me I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have a nice car, or an ipod.. me, me, me. How annoying we have become. On new year’s, someone came apologizing to me in tears. Being skeptical, my mind went into a dejavu mode. Yes this has happened before, exactly a year ago I think. So tell me I have to forgive her seventy times seven times but I cant help being skeptical.
This is me. The year will pass by me again and I would have repeated the same mistakes I warned myself against. I would’ve learned a skill I’m proud of like swimming and come to absolutely love it. I most likely will relearn a thing or two about myself that I hate. I may decide on ‘big’ decisions like marriage or even leaving the country.
And yet all this things I do will not change the world. Just my perspective of the world. My graduation, or new job, my new love or new car makes no difference in the atmosphere. The world in the silent space will go on spinning as it were. People will continue hating each other, whether I’m in Malaysia or Spain. Someone and more than just some one will die. It could even be me.
That is life as it were. And yet every year we give ourselves false hopes that the year will be ‘better’ and come end of the year we open our lists, smile because we thought we did well or frown and go into self pity.
What’s on that list that only God knows who started reflects more of who we are than who we really want to be. But that’s just my opinion. After all that’s all that matters. Me.
I think more and more that humans love to self pity. Look at me I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have a nice car, or an ipod.. me, me, me. How annoying we have become. On new year’s, someone came apologizing to me in tears. Being skeptical, my mind went into a dejavu mode. Yes this has happened before, exactly a year ago I think. So tell me I have to forgive her seventy times seven times but I cant help being skeptical.
This is me. The year will pass by me again and I would have repeated the same mistakes I warned myself against. I would’ve learned a skill I’m proud of like swimming and come to absolutely love it. I most likely will relearn a thing or two about myself that I hate. I may decide on ‘big’ decisions like marriage or even leaving the country.
And yet all this things I do will not change the world. Just my perspective of the world. My graduation, or new job, my new love or new car makes no difference in the atmosphere. The world in the silent space will go on spinning as it were. People will continue hating each other, whether I’m in Malaysia or Spain. Someone and more than just some one will die. It could even be me.
That is life as it were. And yet every year we give ourselves false hopes that the year will be ‘better’ and come end of the year we open our lists, smile because we thought we did well or frown and go into self pity.
What’s on that list that only God knows who started reflects more of who we are than who we really want to be. But that’s just my opinion. After all that’s all that matters. Me.
yours,
jess
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