mY bLeSsiNg, My cUrSe.

Dear jess, I knew one day, one of these two would get me into trouble of some kind. Number one, being an "artist" number two, being a girl who has male best friends. Little of course did i realise, that the combination of these two was fatal, in some psychological way. Sadly, due to the number two, my personal life has lately become a public life, and if you knew me as well as karine knows, you'd know thats the one thing i hate more than anything else in the world. Even more so i had to sit in what i would describe as being in the scrutiny of incriminiting question not just on my personal life but my personal most intimate feelings! Just so as to satisfy my accusers, i cringed answering, waiting for the ground to eat me or up or tears to well up, but nothing of that sort happened, just my luck, i wasnt dreaming. Hence, the saga of my life continues. A director once said, to be an artists- it is our blessing, it is our curse. It is our blessing because believe it or not not everyone has a passion for it (thank your lucky stars!) and it is our curse because we need to do it, love it, practice it in an insecure cycle of perhaps not getting a stable job - as that is the typical perception. It is the drug we need. Perhaps thats why most artists are always depressed and in their odd personality types they are strong against all odds of what society thinks of them. Then enters my story. So once again what does the equation of being an "artist" and the number two get you into? Trouble. Having been accused of several things that i cant wait to be proven innocent, amongst them is making other people love the arts and consider it as a future career, i sit here and for once, unlike all artist i wont mellow in depression. If it is true that i discovered and gave breath to just one other person who's passion and soul thrives on not just the arts, but using this gift for God, then i shall smile. I shall smile knowing that if ever you were privillaged to be an artist and have an "insecure" job, and that you have to rely on God for jobs, and for God to provide an income, whilst you so faithfully practice your gift, then so be it, blame me for all i care. After all, arent most artists misunderstood? yours the starving artist, jess