Saturday, October 29, 2005

giVe mE hOpE!

The notion that thought can be perfectly or even adequately expressed in verbal symbols is idiotic
Alfred North Whitehead

Dear jess,

Remember how I told you that there were two demons, fear and expectations that can cripple you? And yet at the same time its an unavoidable human emotion. Heres another. Hope.

Well, its almost the same as expectation really, but different. Its that feeling when you really hope something will happen AND you cant do anything about. Hope, helplessness.

Like when your boyfriend is on a standby list in Copenhagen and you miss him like crazy. Or when your job takes you to another state and you hope like hell the girl you like will say something. Or the person you think you’re meant to be with simply because you love the titles he reads and his life philosophies are a million miles away.

Hope creeps in. With nothing to rely on except your emotions.

Independent, single woman have a way of guarding their hearts. They don’t have expectations, and they don’t have hope. And anything that makes them vulnerable to being helpless, which obviously means falling in love will be pushed aside.

Im not sure which is worse really. Hope is like waiting and gambling. You bet all your emotional rupiah’s on that one single hope that he will come back, that she will say yes or that you'll see him again, and then you wait, and wait, and ….

And when you’re broke, you realize how stupid it was and you think to yourself, its ok, ill win someday- ill hope again.

yours trapped,
jess

10 comments:

mei said...

or u toughen up more and refuse to hope becos u can't afford the emotional ride.

interesting thoughts, girl.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

aren't hoping and dreaming the same?

either way both are gambles - you don't know if you'll achieve your dreams but you have to take the risk; at least there's some chance for it to happen. otherwise you won't get there at all.

i have hope, but i'm also not being stupid about it.

without hopes or dreams we're just wasting our time and space here, really.

Anonymous said...

i think hope is waaaay overrated. hoping without setting realistic boundaries is just asking for trouble. or plain dumb. take a pick.

p/s: just because a person reads the books same books that u do, doesn't mean that he's meant to be. if that was true, orlando bloom and i are practically soul mates. we breathe the same air. whoopyfreakingdoo! seriously.

k, bye.

jess said...

u mean he reads trashy magazines too? haha kidding, every "anonymous" commenter gets ragged by me. well, if u knew my strange life philospohies and weird books, its hope ill definitely be needing.

Anonymous said...

methinks its sad when we have to put realistic boundaries to wat we hope for - or get accused of being plain dumb.

but then again, tt's me view. what do i know anyway? i dun read trashy magazines...

~(un)realistic in rayleigh~

jess said...

agree, r-i-r. when you are hopeing for something within "realistic boundaries" it really doesnt take much. and maybe thats why they call it hope! i hope you get it. or not. whatever.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

hmm. no boundaries.

let's HOPE: the office will be burnt down, i still get my salary while not coming in to work for the whole of next year.

while we're at it let's hope a money tree starts sprouting from my bedroom floor.

i'm liking this no-boundary hoping. except i call it delusions.

:p

jess said...

sigh thats not what i meant. nevermind. geez u people are sooooooooooooo in need of hope aint it? its the same thin line that keeps me hoping ill travel the world and not work a 9-5 job and the same ones that makes nobody's into someone at hollywood. And the same one that hoped humans can fly.. wait a minute that did happen...