anYthiNg bUt tHai..

dear jess,

there are two things in life that cripples you. Fear and expectations. I was crippled by the first when i got here. Being in a strange land, with every other thai thinking im thai, apparently i look like one. One would think this is a good thing, until you attempt to speak thai, and they speak back. There are so many things about thailand i wish to tell you, but maybe ill save it for another letter. Facts and sights surpass the wonders of thoughts when you're on the road.

my love and my cynical half's love for the beach has given us more than we bargained for, with overtanned bodies, except for bikini lines, that make stripping a hilarious event every single time. We went to phi - phi islands, Phuket and Koh Chang. Being the biggest and second biggest islands in Thailand; we've had mre than enough tom yam's, green, white and all sort of other curries.

But this is what i want to say to you. On the bus back yesterday, and being aware of the second thing that crippled me in my journey, i look out of the window to a landscape that looked so much like Malaysia. I was finally, finally happy to be here. The last many few days i was just being a tourist, grabbing bargains and living in some amount of paranoia avoiding getting cheated and still failing at that.

Thinking about our italian friends we left at Koh Chang, I've passed my second demon in life- expectations. So here i am now, sitting in the guesthouse, whilst its raining outside, and being back in Bangkok, where KL's traffic jams look like joke in comparison, tuk-tuk drivers hassle you, and dodgy streets with too many white people in braids, and rasta hair try to get bargains; i feel like i'm home all over again. I feel like i could be here forever or leave to some other place without having to look back, in either fear or expectation.

wishing i was always away and back at the same time,
jessica