uNvEiLinG the wReCk!

dear jess,

Its official. Im a wreck. Not only were those thoughts reconfirmed today, i had to do a "which desperate housewife are you" test that reaffirms this. I am Susan! Yeap, messy, clumsy, accident prone Susan.

Here's me. It takes me one week to convince myself to do something i hate, one week until i cant bear either the jabbing pain in my brain to go to the doctors, one week till i feel the sudden urge to pay the bills, one week till anything might remotely happen.

Procrastinating is one thing. Panicking is another. So after the one week of talking to myself that i need to do what it is i have to do, i do. Except that when i get to doing what i have to do; i have the tendency to panic, sweat, my heartbeat rate increases for the whole 2 hours, and ultimately i screw up. And what do i need? Someone to come to my rescue.

*throws hands in the air* Not only am i disappointed in the fact that today i had to do something new, scary and all by myself but failed in keeping myself calm and composed! Worse still i could think of two people i desperately wanted to be by my side and still i refused to call them because i wanted to do this by myself. Of course i failed and ultimately did make that call.

Its official. Im a wuss. I'd rather leave and run away than to face a task that is unknown and all by myself, which i almost literally did today.

Once i was late for a performance, and what do i do? Take the wrong turn a few hundred times. Then what? yes, once again, someone has to come to my rescue. It all becomes blurry when im panicking.

I dont mind sleeping in what looked like a seemingly haunted room all by myself in a foreign country but i cant drive myself to a performance without screwing up. Bravo.

Thanks to all my "knight in shining armours" im still emotionally and phsycially alive although i understand myself lesser everyday.. i think i make Susan look sane.

who are you?ps. guys find out which ones they marry!

yours,

jess